today comes early

4:32 AM

Insomnia starts the day. Glancing at the clock for the umpteenth time, and three, well maybe five cups of old coffee later, my eyelids open to find ants invading the bathroom. Poison for them, another cup for me listening to my honey in bed snoring away. I begin to think about his dreams and wonder if I'm even in them?

It would be so easy now, putting on shoes to take out the trash, to envision being tossed aside in that darkened, snooze filled slumber-land. A blond tanned Adonis, flings back gold hair and flashes a toothpaste smile ad, complete with sparkling gleam. The smell of black leather fills the air and the snore becomes a snort. But can he really smell the man's sweat? If so, does his nose move towards it, diving down to the pit of love? These visions could drive me crazy.

Garbage tossed, I bang around in the kitchen grinding loudly at more beans. The last of yesterday's coffee slammed in the microwave, and fifty seconds later pings_ stirs up empty air gurgling complaints about its day. I drift somehow not really caring about any of this old friend, instead, I sit down to write you. Another day in fucking paradise. The old man still asleep, and me, me, feeling the morning's shit coming on, I type.